3 Reasons Remote Work Feels Harder Than In-Person

Not too long ago, I was having coffee with a friend who was just starting to build her first remote team as a coach in the remote space. She put her head in her hands, sighed and said, “I just miss the days when I could walk down the hall, tap someone on the shoulder, and solve a problem in two minutes. Now it takes 7 steps and a prayer to get the same thing done.”

Sound familiar?

Here’s the deal: most of us didn’t grow up learning how to lead or work remotely. Our schools, first jobs, and mentors were all in-person. We learned how to “do work” by sitting next to each other, soaking up information without even realizing it, and building trust face-to-face.

Remote work, on the other hand, has only really been mainstream for about a decade. Which means it’s still brand new. And yet, here you are . . . expected to lead like a pro in a format nobody trained you for.

So if you’ve been wondering why leading your team feels harder than it “should,” you’re not broken. You’re not failing. You’re just navigating uncharted territory.

Let’s shed a light on the three biggest differences between in-person and remote teams (and name them to tame them):

1. Connection vs. Disconnection: Why Remote Teams Feel Less Human

In-person, connection just . . . happens. You bump into each other in the hallway, chat over a coffee, swap stories before a meeting. You don’t even think about it. It. Just. Is.

On remote teams, those moments vanish. Everything has to be planned: the Zoom coffee dates, the banter over a chat messenger, the one-on-ones. And because it feels “extra,” it’s usually the first thing that gets cut in favor of “real work.”

But here’s the kicker: when you stop making space for human connection, your team stops feeling like humans and starts feeling like a bunch of task-rabbits.

And when it comes down to it, sharing what’s going on in your life in an office comes up naturally: “My kid was up sick all night, I’m running on fumes.” Remotely? You have to go out of your way to share something like this, and that can feel like you’re oversharing or complaining, so you just don’t. That silence creates disconnection, and before you know it, your team is doing the work but nobody actually feels like a team.

2. Trust Looks Different Remotely (and That’s Tricky AF)

In an office, trust comes from visibility: “I see you here, I see you working, therefore I trust you.”

In remote work, you don’t see the process, you only see the result. Which means trust has to shift from presence to performance. And that’s a whole new ballgame.

Here’s what usually happens: leaders start over-monitoring (“Hey, just checking in to see when you’ll respond to that email I sent 20 minutes ago . . .”), while team members start over-communicating or working late just to prove they’re working.

And let’s be clear: no one asked them to do this. That pressure is totally internal. They just feel like they have to go out of their way to show they’re not slacking. Not only is that exhausting for your team and putting them on edge, but it’s weighing on your whole business, silently.

3. Training Doesn’t Happen by Osmosis (Especially Online)

Think about your first job: you learned by overhearing conversations, watching how others handled tough clients, or asking quick questions over the cubicle wall.

That’s “osmosis learning,” and it straight-up doesn’t exist remotely.

And if you started your business by doing everything yourself (which you probably did), guess what? The knowledge base is currently YOU. And until humans develop telepathy, that’s a problem. Your team can’t absorb what’s in your head unless you get it out.

Yes, creating and updating training material takes time. It’s not glamorous. But it’s non-negotiable if you want your team to succeed without you being pinged for every tiny thing.

Leading a Remote Team That Actually Works

Here’s the truth: your team isn’t broken, and you’re not a bad leader. You’re just leading in a space that’s still new for everyone.

But here’s the opportunity: when you stop trying to lead your remote team the way you’d lead in an office, everything changes. Connection becomes intentional. Trust is built on actual results, not green dots. Training stops being an afterthought and becomes the backbone of your business.

That’s when you finally step out of firefighting mode and into actual leadership.